Self-Care

An Emergency Kit

for Dealing with Narcissists

Reclaim Your Power, One Moment at a Time

Navigate challenging encounters with confidence, resilience, and self-worth.

In the face of interactions with narcissists, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, drained, and even emotionally hijacked. Their manipulative tactics and self-centered behavior can leave us feeling off-balanced and questioning our own worth.

In any given moment, we can find ourselves engaging in a coping mechanism to deal with the stressful or frightening event. Our limbic system launches into action in response to the real or perceived danger. Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline immediately release to switch into our survival mode.

When this happens, our instinct is to trigger one of the 5 F’s:

  • Fight — Combative, control, and dominance
  • Flight —Run away, conflict-avoidant
  • Freeze — Unable to take action or make decisions, procrastinate
  • Fawn — Putting needs of others before your own
  • Flop — Collapse, involuntarily lose bodily functions

The triggers are a result of having experienced some kind of trauma in the past —most likely from childhood. You’re not alone. Many of us have a trauma response that is primed to protect ourselves from a threatening situation.

The key is to recognize when any of our triggers get activated so we can begin healing. Some of the commons signs are:

Physical signs:

  • Increased heart rate
  • Rapid breathing
  • Sweating
  • Muscle tension
  • Dilated pupils
  • Dry mouth
  • Digestive issues

Emotional signs:

  • Fear
  • Anxiety
  • Anger
  • Irritability
  • Overwhelm
  • Feeling detached or numb

If you are experiencing any of these signs, it is important to take steps to calm yourself down to regain control and realign your 3 brains: head, heart, and gut.

There are many long term solutions you can employ for your healing journey. However, in the short term, you may need an emergency kit tailored specifically for dealing with narcissists so you can reclaim your power and protect your emotional well-being.

In this article, I want to share tools and techniques that I discovered through the years that help reclaim my power. It’s my hope these tools and techniques bring you immediate relief the moment you need them.

I am deserving of happiness and peace, and I will not let them take it away from me

I am not defined by their actions.

I am a valuable and worthwhile person.

Box Breathing

Reset Your Parasympathetic Nervous System

If your mind is racing, your heart is beating 1000 beats a minute, you feel like a caged animal, and you just want to escape the moment, this breathing technique helps to calm the body and mind.

To do box breathing:

  • inhale for four counts,
  • hold for four counts,
  • exhale for four counts, and
  • hold for four counts.

Repeat this cycle for several minutes.

You can do this anywhere at any time.

This is a versatile technique to use while awake or if I need help sleeping. I’ve done this to calm my system down before a presentation, before having a difficult conversation, or if I have to walk into a crowd. I also use this technique if I’m having trouble sleeping.

Should this technique come with a warning disclaimer like don’t operate heavy machinery? It depends on your intention. If you intend to calm your system then set the intention. If you need help calming your racing mind so you can fall asleep, set the intention to relax and fall asleep. The key is to stay present with each breath. 

I am learning to set boundaries and protect myself from their manipulation.

Cleanse, Clear, Release

3 Quick Steps to Release Triggering Moments

When I recall a traumatic experience, the quickest way I have found to reassert control over my thoughts is this 3 step mantra: Cleanse, clear, release.

As I repeat this mantra a few times, I imagine my whole body being flooded by white light from above to remove any unwanted energy that no longer serves me. Once cleansed and cleared, in my minds eye I watch the energy release from my body like a puff of smoke. I watch this smoke dissipate from my auric field like droplets evaporating from my skin after a shower.

This helps prevent me from spiraling into the abyss of darkness.

This technique also helps to eliminate excess negative energy after a heavy discussion. I will also use this in tandem with the box breathing technique above.

 

I am strong and capable, even if they try to make me feel otherwise.

EFT Tapping

Tap, Unlock, and Balance Your Emotional Wellness

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a mind-body technique that combines acupressure with modern psychology. It is claimed to be effective for a variety of emotional and physical problems, including anxiety, stress, depression, pain, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). EFT involves tapping on specific points on the body while focusing on a specific issue or problem.

EFT involves tapping on specific points on the body while focusing on a specific issue or problem. The tapping is thought to stimulate the body’s energy system, which can help to release negative emotions and restore balance to the body.

There is some scientific evidence to support the effectiveness of EFT. For example, a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that EFT was effective in reducing anxiety in people with social anxiety disorder. Another study, published in the Journal of Pain, found that EFT was effective in reducing pain in people with cancer.

However, more research is needed to confirm the effectiveness of EFT for different conditions. EFT is generally considered to be safe, and it can be a helpful tool for managing emotional and physical problems.

If you are interested in trying EFT, you can find a qualified practitioner online or in your community. You can also learn how to do EFT yourself by watching videos or reading books on the subject.

Basic EFT tapping sequence

Want to try EFT yourself? Follow the steps:

  1. Identify the issue or problem that you want to focus on.
  2. Choose a setup statement, such as “Even though I feel (emotion), I deeply and completely accept myself.”
  3. Tap on the karate chop point (the fleshy part of your outer palm, just below your pinky finger) while repeating your setup statement three times.
  4. Tap on the following points in a sequence of 3 taps at each spot while repeating a reminder phrase that relates to your issue or problem.
  5. Repeat the sequence until you feel relief.

Specific Setup Statements:

  • “This pain I feel in my heart is a result of the abuse I endured.”

  • “I release the anger and resentment I hold towards my abuser.”

  • “I forgive myself for believing I wasn’t good enough.”

  • “I am healing from the emotional wounds of narcissistic abuse.”

  • “I am reclaiming my power and self-worth.”

 

Tapping Points

  1. The eyebrow point (just above the inner edge of your eyebrow)
  2. The side of the eye point (just below the outer edge of your eye)
  3. The under-eye point (just below the center of your eye)
  4. The nose point (just below the tip of your nose)
  5. The chin point (just below your chin)
  6. The collarbone point (just above your collarbone)
  7. The armpit point (just below your armpit)

This is just a basic sequence, and there are many other variations of EFT that you can try. You may also find that you need to adjust the tapping points or the reminder phrase to find what works best for you.

This first time I was introduced to this technique, I set my intention to release any deep seated  negative emotions I had stored over the past 50 years with my narcissistic mother. Wow! I had cleared quite a bit of stored negativity in my body. I hope you find relief with this, too.

I am becoming stronger and more resilient with each passing day.

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR)

Unwind, Release, and Recharge with Deep Relaxation

PMR is a technique that involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups throughout the body. This can help to release tension and promote relaxation.

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a mind-body technique that involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups throughout the body. This technique is based on the idea that there is a connection between the mind and body, and that by relaxing the body, we can also relax the mind.

Basic PMR sequence

Want to try PMR yourself? Follow the steps:

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable place where you will not be disturbed.
  2. Sit or lie down in a relaxed position.
  3. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
  4. Focus your attention on your toes. Curl your toes as tightly as you can, and hold for 5 seconds. Then, relax your toes completely.
  5. Repeat this process with each of the following muscle groups:
Your feet
Your calves
Your thighs
Your hips
Your stomach
Your chest
Your back
Your shoulders
Your arms
Your hands
Your neck
Your face
As you tense and relax each muscle group, pay attention to the sensations of tension and relaxation in your body.

Tips for practicing PMR:

  • Practice PMR regularly for the best results.
  • Focus on your breathing throughout the exercise.
  • If you find yourself getting distracted, gently bring your attention back to your body.
  • Don’t judge yourself if you can’t tense or relax your muscles completely.
  • Be patient with yourself. It takes time to learn PMR and to experience the full benefits.

If you are new to PMR, it may be helpful to start with a guided relaxation recording. You can find many guided PMR recordings online or in libraries. You can also find your favorite classical piece of music that is slow and rhythmic to facilitate deep relaxation.

PMR is a valuable tool for managing stress and improving your overall health. With regular practice, you can learn to relax your body and mind, and to cope more effectively with stress.

I first learned this technique back in school as a precursor to meditation. It was a wonderful way to release tension and regain composure to continue the day. It’s also a technique Marine’s use to help fall asleep quickly if they are on 4 hour rotations. 

I am not alone.

There are people who care about me and support me.

Engage 3rd Party Support

Surround yourself with support

Seek out supportive individuals who understand your experiences and provide a safe space for you to express your emotions. Connect with friends, support groups, or therapists who can offer guidance, validation, and empathy. Sharing your feelings with those who validate and support you can help counteract the effects of the narcissistic abuse.

Today there are numerous communities sprouting up. Again, YouTube, Meetup, Farcebook, Reddit, are just some of those places.

Seek professional support if needed

If encountering siblings, coworkers, or neighbors trigger intense emotions or make it challenging to reclaim your power, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in narcissistic abuse. They can provide guidance, tools, and coping strategies to navigate these challenging situations.

Because we had few sources and a lack of community (I wasn’t a barfly or a church goer) back in the 80s and 90s, I had few outlets to share my grief and distress.

Be sure to get a professional to help you heal and a dedicated group for support.

Strive to prevent sensitive issues from bleeding into the workplace. The mistake I made was using my work mates as therapists.

Please don’t repeat my mistake.

You might be enduring a difficult time —and I have the utmost empathy for you — but your issues could compromise your professional reputation.

I don’t want that for you.

Remember, you are not alone, and your feelings and experiences are valid. Trust your instincts, honor your boundaries, and prioritize your healing and well-being above all else. You have the power to create a life that is nurturing and supportive for yourself.

About Me

Lisa Stewart

Intuitive, Medium, Narcissism Survivor

“We are all light beings and have the capacity to heal ourselves. As we heal ourselves, we heal each other. We can begin our healing with our personal magick.”

Due to her experiences as a daughter of a narcissistic mother, Lisa has made it her mission to help other daughters thrive beyond the trauma.

Lisa found the courage to create inside the eye of the storm growing up.

It is through her courage that Lisa has created a mission. The mission is to help people find the courage to co-create their magick so they can grow their confidence and income.

Today, she uses her intuitive gifts to guide her and others to reconnect with their personal magick.

Lisa offers emotional support with inspiring and uplifting narcissism survivor articles, intuitive business and marketing guidance, workshops, website design, business systems and digital calendar planners, oracle cards, and intuitive readings to help mystics share their gifts with the world and grow their confidence and their income.

If you want to join Lisa on her journey, stick around to listen, watch, and engage with her on various platforms. She’d love to meet you!

Lisa Stewart

Intuitive, Medium, Narcissism Survivor

“We are all light beings and have the capacity to heal ourselves. As we heal ourselves, we heal each other. We can begin our healing with our personal magick.”

Due to her experiences as a daughter of a narcissistic mother, Lisa has made it her mission to help other daughters thrive beyond the trauma.

Lisa found the courage to create inside the eye of the storm growing up.

It is through her courage that Lisa has created a mission. The mission is to help people find the courage to co-create their magick so they can grow their confidence and income.

Today, she uses her intuitive gifts to guide her and others to reconnect with their personal magick.

Lisa offers emotional support with inspiring and uplifting narcissism survivor articles, intuitive business and marketing guidance, workshops, website design, business systems and digital calendar planners, oracle cards, and intuitive readings to help mystics share their gifts with the world and grow their confidence and their income.

If you want to join Lisa on her journey, stick around to listen, watch, and engage with her on various platforms. She’d love to meet you!

Email

Hello@CoCreateMagick.com

Connect

Hello@CoCreateMagick.com